I’m at a table with a group of bloggers. We are trying to talk, but there is a concert going on in the room and the music is loud. We are literally screaming at one another. Tired of screaming, I find myself zoning out, mainly because I can’t hear and also I’ve ran out of things to talk about.
I know, right? Me…running out of things to talk about? Crazy, isn’t it? But it does happen.
I feel a tug on my arm and a squeal. It’s Lizzie. “JAIME! YOU MUST MEET THIS WOMAN!” I turn around and there is this tiny woman who looks at me and says shouts: “I’m Jessica. I hear we’re alike. Are you Jewish too?”
“No, she’s not Jewish,” says shouts Lizzie, “But you have a lot of common! Tell her Jaime!”
What do you say with that kind of intro? Before I can say anything, the woman, named Jessica says, “Sleep with random men back in the day? This is not apppropriate with Mormon ladies, but bear with me- I was telling someone a story and I used the example of ‘You know how you feel when you’ve had the one night stand and the next day you were like why did I do that? And she’s all, No, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about that.’ I’m thinking Wow. Tough crowd.’ “
We bust out laughing and Lizzie- God Bless Her, says “Jaime too! She wrote a book about it. Tell her Jaime.”
Not sure what to say shout. So I say, shout ” HEY, Yeah, Fellow Blogger, Stranger, I was a slut too! Nice to meet you!”
Yes, we former sluts, must stick together. I’m totally thinking of creating T-shirts that say, “Former Slut With a Nice Butt” or “Whore No More.”
I think I will sell a lot. Maybe even throw in a “Team Jaime Kay” t-shirt just for kicks.
